AN INTERESTING HOBBY

 Since I’ve reached a certain age
and don’t chase women any more
I’ve developed quite an interest
in my Black and Decker saw 
I’ve joined the Saffron Walden branch
of the national power saw club
and we as a weekly meeting
and its always in the pub 
We av’e races cutting chip board
which we then turn into stools
then we all sits round a table
and polish up our tools 
We don’t always wear our anoraks
sometimes we dress up posh
and invite along a speaker
from Philips or from bosh 
you can always tell our members
cos they’ve got some fingers short
and were trying to get jig saw driving
as a new Olympic sport
 We av’e in depth conversations
about the merits of each blade
and marvel at the engineering
of ow each machine is made 
Since I joined the circular saw club
my wife’s gone soft in the ‘ed
she keep ranting and winging and raging
about the saw dust she finds in the bed.
 She say it’s quite unnatural
to be so obsessed with our tools
and refers to the other members
 as that bunch of sad old fools.
 she say I love my saw more
 than I ever did ‘er
and it’s time for me to choose
which one I prefer. 
Well my saw can’t cook me dinner
iron my shirts darn my socks or stitch,
but at least I can stop it’s constant wine
with a flick of the on off  switch.